emma's story began back in november of 2007. we were pregnant with our 4th baby and so excited to find out how our family would be rounded out... would it be an even 2 girls, 2 boys? or would this new little one mix things up and give us 3 princesses and 1 prince? did we want to know, or were we going to keep it a delivery day surprise? oh, the anticipation!
we dropped the kiddos off at school, stopped by mickey-d's for a sweet tea to get this baby awake and moving for the ultrasound, and then headed across town to the doctor. we excitedly went in, bared my belly, and laid back to enjoy the show. but it all quickly came to a screaching halt.
the tech scanned the entire body and then went directly to it's chest. not being new to this process, i vaguely knew what i was looking at. there in front of us was a blinking butterfly on the screen... it was a little heart. but wait, it didn't look right. it wasn't symetric, one whole side was 'smooshy'. feeling all the blood leave my face, my arms, then my chest, i quickly asked, "what's wrong with the heart?". the tech didn't answer. i asked again, grabbing jimmie's hand. the tech kind of gave me a side-ways look and still didn't answer. so i asked again, this time sitting up a little. she removed the probe from my belly, looked at me, and said, "i've been doing this for years; you wouldn't know an abnormal heart if you were looking at it." the room began spinning as i said, "i'm looking at one."
in that moment i knew my world was about to change. the room was eerily quiet. there wasn't excitement or joy. there was a terrible gripping fear of the unknown. what was wrong with my baby???
the tech finished her scan and left the room. moments later the doctor arrived and told us that the tech had informed him of our concern. but he wasn't my doctor, he couldn't tell me anything, he'd call my doctor and tell him the diagnosis and i'd have to wait to hear it from him.
i was numb. i got up, left the office, walked to the car, and began to fall apart. i knew there was something terribly wrong but i didn't know what. jimmie kept saying everything was fine and not to worry, but i knew.
we went to my obgyn and as soon as we checked in they called us back... that was the first time in 3 pregnancies that i didn't have to wait at least 45 minutes to see him - another bad sign. he instantly came in the room, sat down, took a deep breath and said "we need to talk."
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